Pandarus' Valentine's Day Massacre
By Karina L. Fabian
For the Los Lagos Gazette


Los Lagos, CO--Thoughts of romance turned to terror Saturday as what shoppers thought was a store display cupid came to life and started shooting at the mall patrons. Pandarus, a Faerie cupid, was subdued by mall security personnel and has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon, resisting arrest, disturbing the peace, and distribution of a magically psychoactive substance.

Pandarus had apparently been hanging around the display window of Victoria's Secret at the Los Lagos Mall, unnoticed by the staff or patrons eager to shop for an extra surprise for their holiday celebrations. "I thought he was just part of the One Hour-My Spicy Valentine sale display," said assistant manager Dana Kline, as she rubbed her arm where one of the heart-shaped arrowheads struck her and leaned against her husband Jed Kline, an employee of Pretzelmakers across the hall.

At 6:45, as the store swelled with anxious shoppers flipping through lacy underthings and squabbling over the last Size 14 babydoll nightie, Pandarus is said to have positioned his bow, shouted, "Let Love In!" and pelted patrons with arrows.

The screams and subsequent stampede alerted Roy Alberts, mall guard and his partner Katie Robbins. They subdued Pandarus after a brief altercation.
"Roy caught him. He was so brave!" Robbins said, with a heavy sigh. Alberts, blushing, insisted he could not have snagged the cupid by his ankles if Robbins hadn't distracted the archer at just the right moment.

"And she took a shot. For me! We're such a great team," he said.

Although at least ten patrons--including Robbins and Alberts--claimed to have been hit by cupid's arrows, none needed medical attention, and in fact refused medical care in order to return home to their spouses, or left with another patron, lacy underthings forgotten.

"I have done a good thing here!" Pandarus is said to have shouted as he was carried off. "You will thank me! I have brought you a happy Valentine's Day!"
Pandarus was on his way back to Faerie Greece after a being filming a commercial for the Venus and Eros online dating service. He is being held without bail.

***

POLICE BLOTTER: Jed Kline, 25, and Dana Kline, 24, were arrested and charged with indecent exposure at Victoria's Secret changing room. Mrs. Kline was found under the influence of a cupid's arrow and declared not guilty, but Mr. Kline, who was not struck, was fined $150 dollars.

ENGAGEMENTS:
Robbins and Alberts: Katheryn (Katie) Marie Robbins and Roy Manuel Alberts announce their engagement and summer 2009 wedding plans. Robins is the daughter of Rae and George Robbins of Raleigh, NC.

Roe's done the cover art sketch for Magic, Mensa and Mayhem. It's not bad, overall. I like Grace's smile. This is actually taken from a photo we took before leaving. However, I distinctly remember blocking Coyote from view with my wing; wouldn't put it past the Trickster to have gone down to Brazil just to bribe Roe into putting him back in. Grace says to be generous, so I'll let the dog have his day.

Karina is falling over herself with excitement. She's also started on some ideas for Book Three: GapMan. Yes, Los Lagos has its own superhero, and she'll tell you all about it. However, right now, she has a sci-fi book to write, a new job to start and an impending move to California. (Wonder what the environmentalists would think If I took a swim in the San Francisco Bay?)

Still working on the cover with Roe Mesquita and busy as all-get-out with the Catholic Writers' Conference Online, so Karina is not posting today. Go to www.fabianspace.blogspot.com for what she's been writing at the conference--got a Kitty McGrue scene!

This one makes me wonder—what kind of friend thinks it's more important to record this event for YouTube than to help his buddy? Coyote-is that you behind the camera?

Roe Mesquita sent another sketch of me. It's closer, and Grace has told me to stop nagging him now. Let's face it--even photographs can't catch my natural grandeur and exceptional beauty. (and certainly not his ego! --Grace)

He also sent the following sketches. They're all really good. I think he caught the Inner Coyote quite well, though he never looks like that on the outside.

But the sketch of Grace. Wow. It's almost as lovely as she is. ...and I can't say any more because she's looking over my shoulder and blushing.

So, I'll just say, "Keep it up, Roe. Looking forward to seeing the cover."

If you want to read Karina's analysis, go to her blog.

You know, I'm liking this Roe Mesquita. He's really trying hard to capture my elusive gorgeousness. Not easy to do in caricature, believe me. Still Grace think's he's caught my personality, if not my eyes just yet.

Click here for Karina's reaction.

And let's face it--the security guard ain't so hot himself.

Here's our cover artist, Roe Mesquita.

Dindy and Karina chose him because they liked his work, though he captured the comedy feel for MM&M. (NOTE: "Comedy" means embarrassing the dragon. Note also how calmly I'm taking the fact that my first novelized case is by far the most slapstick. No authors have been hurt in the making of this book...yet.)

Roe also impressed them by coming up with a pretty good likeness of me, all the more impressive because he's Brazilian and English is obviously not his first language. In fact, when Karina sent tweaks,she did it using drawings instead of words. (Probably not a bad idea, considering how tempting it is to describe my magnificence in detail.)

Now Roe is working on the cover. He's chosen the scene where I'm breaking up a fight between Gozon and Galendor. They're pretty easy to describe. In fact, Karina found a few LOTR movie stills that convey them quite well.

One thing I'm not enjoying is being sketched for the cover art of the DragonEye, PI books. Let's face it. I'm vain. It's part of the definition of dragon. make me look right and make me look good.

However, no one thought to take a photo of me--hello!--so all the artists had to go on was their imagination and Karina's long-winded, detailed descriptions. Honestly, there are times I think she has elf blood.

The original artists Karina had asked didn't get the feel right. One made me look like a plushie--I don't do soft and cuddly--the other made me look, well, morose and Elizabethan. Now I have a cousin that he just pegged, but he's not me. Karina is going to ask for permission to post them. the artists have talent; they just didn't get my grandeur and stunning and unique personality.

Of course, neither did finalist Gregory Price.



I didn't mean I was this vain! And what's with the anorexia? That's a Mundane standard of beauty--even as Pius's pampered pet, I was more buff than that. And those hands. If I had humanish hands like that, it would make living in the Mendane world a lot easier--except people would expect me to eat with a fork, no doubt. Think I'll stick to my paws.

The next finalist, Justin Shauf was a late-comer and I was the first dragon he'd drawn, believe it or not.



Look at me! I'm a superhero! All I need are tights...not! And if I had horns like that, I'd probably get run out of the universe by the Fundamentalist types. I already have people thinking I'm the Spawn of Satan just because St. John mentioned a dragon in Revelation. Come on, people--count the heads. We have the same scene in our version of the Bible, incidentally. Satan can take any form he likes, and he took a dragon form specifically to cause problems between our species. Tell you that story another time--maybe in the Dragon's Eye View. (Must be registered on the site to view it!)

Monday, I'll introduce you to Roe Mesquita, our cover artist.